Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Look Mom, I'm on Oprah!


Okay, you caught me. I'm actually nowhere near Chicago, but I am on the hot seat! Twice!!

My new friend, Jessica LeSaicherre, has invited me to her blog for a little chat about the struggles of doing it all. (Read: How do you bathe, feed and love your children, keep a little spice in your marriage, and pick up dog poop all while becoming a writer?) Besides the fact that Jess has an awesome blog, and is as cute as a button, she's also a member of Team Peeta. (Bonus points in my book). So swing by, say hello, and check out my interview beginning this Thursday.

And in other exciting interview news...

The fantastical Anita Howard has invited me to participate in her QUERY TRACKERS MAKING TRACKS series over on her blog this Friday. Most of you know that QT played a huge part in me finding my agent, Rachael Dugas (the darling little dynamo who will be swinging by Rookie's blog very soon). It was a treat & an honor to sing QT's praises to Anita. I'd love to see you over there, too.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

BETTER THAN SLICED BREAD


Last week I was granted an AWESOMESAUCE award by the amazing, and soon to be best selling author, Anita Howard. I'll be honest and admit that my first thought upon notification was, bloody hell! There's a reason why people don't ask me to participate in dish towel chain letters, or pass me a loaf of soon-to-be Amish friendship bread. The reason is because I don't follow the rules. I never have. Rules infuriate me! (And the thought of eating a slice of bread that originated from 10 days of neglect on my counter is about as appetizing as anal warts. Just about.)

But because I love me some Anita, and because I happen to have some serious blog envy going on, I decided I would follow the rules, this ONE time, and play along.

So, it is with great pleasure I present the the AWESOMESAUCE award to the fabulous and witty Ms. Jessie Humphries. Besides the fact that the girl has titled her blog page with the best letter in the alphabet, "B", she's just damn funny and puts together some entertaining, well-written blog posts on a regular basis that all begin with the letter "B". (She first reeled me in with her "B is for BRINGIN IT" post on August 12. This post was inspired by the darling Mr. Ryan Gosling, which provided me a perfect opportunity to comment about my favorite blue-eyed honey, Mr. Bradley Cooper. I am to Bradley Cooper as Barack is to the word 'change'. I will incorporate it as often as possible.) So, congratulation's, Jessie. You are so worthy of the awesomesauce, I hope you bathe in it for days.

And now to the rules. *sigh* *groan*

1. I'm supposed to thank the person who bestowed me with this fabulous award.
THANK YOU, ANITA!!

2. Pay it forward to no more than one person a month.
NOT A PROBLEM. THE AWESOMENESS STOPS WITH JESSIE.

3. What is your favorite song currently playing on your iPod?
THE GLEE KIDS RENDITION OF, DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'

4. If we peek into your Internet history, what would we find?
LAST GOOGLE SEARCH: IS BRADLEY COOPER SINGLE?

5. And lastly, what is your all-time favorite movie that you watch over and over again?
DO YOU EVEN NEED TO ASK?

The second that music starts playing, my heart actually stops beating. It does not get any better than Jake Ryan in topsiders and when he says, "Yeah, you." Ahhh...I'm in Heaven.

That's all I have for today, my bloggerly buddies, but something exciting is in the works...

STAY TUNED!

Saturday, August 20, 2011

LOCKED IN THE WRITER'S CLOSET

Shh...Please don't tell anyone I'm in here.

This is my secret hideout and if too many people find out about it, I'm afraid they'll force me out. It's not that I don't like it out there, in the real world. The people are nice and the food is pretty tasty, but it's so much different in here.

In here I can really be myself.

I can talk to the voices in my head and nobody thinks I'm crazy. They think I'm inspired.

In here I'm encouraged to color outside the lines. In fact there aren't any lines in here. It's just me, a big empty page and a brand new box of crayons. (I love new crayons).

In here my big ambitions are met with excitement, not speculation.

In here a rejection doesn't mean failure, it means I'm one step closer to success.

In here all the nonsense in my head has a purpose. And it's a purpose I'm discovering more every time I step inside.

I know the day is coming when I'm going to have to 'out' myself to the rest of the world, but until then I'm going to stay out of sight, answering only to those who know the secret password.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

HAIL, HAIL THE MIGHTY MULLET


In my opinion a mullet is a lot more than a hideous hairdo that should have been snuffed out the day it was invented, along with every man, child and K.D. Lang fan who ever donned it atop their head. THE MULLET IS A STATEMENT. It says, we've got to take care of a little bit of business before we hit the party.

Which is exactly what's happening on this post today.

First, THE BIDNESS:
Query Tracker is quite possibly the coolest site for hopeful authors to meet, connect and record our efforts as we try to land an agent. Now that I've earned myself representation, I am stoked to report that I participated in a Query Tracker Success Story which can be found here. (I'm not very comfortable with self-promotion so if I need to toot my own horn to get a little attention than, toot toot. That's all I got.)

Now, THE PARTAAAY!
Recently my witty and panty-loving pal Angela, as well as my new pal, A.M. who has exceptional taste in girls and goats, bestowed me a very special gift. It is the Liebester Blog Award.

(I am told that Liebster means "friend" in German. I suspect, though, that it has something to do with hooves and intricate bead work. Research pending).

The Liebster award is presented to bloggers who have less than 200 followers, with no conditions for the recipient other than to link back to the givers and bask in the glory of being recognized by some pretty cool chicks. (Actually, that's not true. I'm supposed to tag five people with this gift, but rules scare me. The second I read, "ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS..." Melvin actually leaps from his wheel and I'm left pudge-brained wondering how the goat got my undies over his horns. Rules aren't good for Rookie).

Because I'm the rebellious, youngest daughter of a former minister, I'd like to incorporate my own rules as I always do. Rather than tagging 5 friends for this list, I thought it more fun to create a list of people I'd love to be tagged by. (naughty, naughty, preacher's kid!)

The list goes something like this:

1. Bradley Cooper (Come on, you know me. If I can incorporate his name into a blog, I will).



2. Mark Salling, a.k.a. Noah "Puck" Puckerman, from Glee. This sexy boy with a one-track mind makes my toes curl. 'Nuff said.
3. Shia LeBeouf. Shut up. He's legal.

4. Mathew Fox. Just because LOST is gone, and PARTY OF FIVE ended too early, doesn't mean I can't keep swooning over this fella.5. Ben Affleck. He's still hot, even with a little extra poundage. So long as we don't talk politics, we're good to go!

(No celebrity hunks were harmed during the making of my most recent fantasy)


Thursday, August 4, 2011

LIFE AS A WRITER, THROUGH THE EYES OF A HAMSTER

If I've ever commented on your blog, or emailed you privately, you probably know that I have a hamster living inside my brain. (It's true. Under all that hair there is a brain) My little hamster does not have an official moniker, though this week the name MELVIN popped into my head, so I think that's what I'll call him. One thing my little hamster friend definitely does have, however, is a tremendous amount of influence on my life.

Because this may be an advanced concept for some of you to process (or, more likely, too ridiculous to consider) I thought I'd give you the lay version of what my life as a writer is like through the eyes of Melvin. Please follow along using the pictures for guidance.



Here we see Melvin in the condition I was in on Monday after returning from vacation. He is fat, lazy, and content with doing absolutely nothing. He hasn't written anything in days, and he drank more alcohol than his furry little body was used to. He doesn't care about much of anything--except getting some sleep.



Here is Melvin on Tuesday. He woke up to the painful reality that he was fat, lazy, and had been, up until that morning, absolutely content doing absolutely nothing. In short: MELVIN WAS A LOSER WITH NO FUTURE! Because he was a disgusting, going-nowhere little beast, he immediately began nourishing his body with healthy treats like broccoli, blog posts, water, books, and emails from encouraging friends. If he was going to get back on that wheel, he'd need energy, right?



(Side note: On this day Rookie received an unfair amount of support from a fellow writer and dear friend, assuring her that she had not lost her passion for writing, and that God would not deny her an opportunity to be published, simply because she took a few days off.)

And today we see the fruit of Melvin's labor. See him there? He's sprinting on his wheel! That sucker is about ready to fly off its hinges! Ideas are percolating, words are flowing, fingers are flying...it's a good day to be a writer. Melvin is on a roll. (literally...see below)





And then...well, then we will come to this weekend. When Melvin will rest. He will eat just enough, but not too much. He will drink a little, not a lot. He will write enough to feed his habit, but stop before overdosing.
Melvin's an interesting little guy. He's a passionate, dramatic and soulful little creature. He takes things seriously, over-analyzes everything, and pours himself into his work. But I guess that's the life of a writer--through the eyes of a hamster, anyway.