Monday, January 28, 2013


Or so I keep telling myself

So close to the ground with doors that slide,
Tears of laughter over you I've cried.
Not quite a bus, but much more than a car,
Your bumper laced with stickers claiming, "My kid's a star!"

From the perch of my Jeep, I hauled my kids to school,
Only 14 MPG…but still ever so cool.
While you in your van, looking Old Mother Hubbard,
No doubt going to Wal-Mart to restock your cupboard.

From the ball field to dance class,
The grocery and work,
"It's just transportation,"
Oh please…don't be a jerk.
Your car is your identity, it defines your style.
At least so I thought for a good long while.

My road to acceptance was long and grueling,
And almost as painful as the constant refueling.
"I can't get a van! I can't, no I won't!"
Until that day when my back I near broke.

My dilemma, the fifty-eight pounder I call Becca Boo,
She can't climb into her booster the way other kids do.
With limited leg room and out-swinging doors,
I was heaving, and hefting--it's no easy chore.

So after much research and some tears over beers,
I made the decision I've been fighting for years.

Practicality over appearance,
Function over fun.
I've got myself a minivan,
My SUV days are done.

So goodbye Jeep Commander, hello Honda Odyssey.
I look forward to smooth sailing road trips,
and ample room for the ENTIRE freaking family.

Actual photo taken on our trip to Yosemite two years ago. My sister still has her Commander. I am now forced to get my cool from her. (Please don't tell her I said that)

Friday, January 18, 2013

Getting to know author Kaylie Austen

Hey Fan Club!

It's time for another high stakes, nail biting, Rookieriter author interview! *slides on nosy nellie cap. Adjusts it. Gives up and tosses it on the floor.* (Too much flippin' hair)

I'm happy to introduce you to my online pal, Kaylie Austen. Kaylie's a hard working author with a heart of gold, and I'm thrilled she wanted to swing by my place for a little chat about her new book, RAVENS. (Available February 15!!) She's also giving away a free copy over at Goodreads, so swing by and join in the fun!

RR: Tell us a little about your book.
KA: Ravens are children who mysteriously disappear from our world and transported to a parallel universe. They have weird eyes, uncanny powers, and tragic lives. Kendra was spared when her sister, Julie, and friend, Liam, were transported ten years ago. For a decade, Liam’s used his telepathic powers to communicate with Kendra in order to get her to the portal site. Of course, she thinks she’s going crazy. Liam needs her, for more than one reason, and enter betrayal and lies. 

RR: What is it about Kendra that will make readers root for her? 
KA: Kendra is lost, figuratively and literally. She’s spent a decade fighting off bullies and the crazies. She has one friend, hunky Randal, and absolutely no plans for life. All she wants is to get over what happened to Julie and Liam, and of course to get Liam out of her head, but when she transports, all she wants is to save Julie and love Liam. Perhaps Liam’s intentions were valid, but the way things go down leaves her in a emotionally compromised situation, especially when the people she loves in one world thinks she’s gone off the deep end and there’s nothing she can do to have a perfect happy ending.

RR: Your cover is gorgeous. Did you get much input? 
KA: Thanks! Yes, I did. It took a long while to get a cover that spoke to me, but I’m happy with the final cover.
(I know it's hard, but wipe the drool off your chin, guys. It's rude and I don't like housework)

RR: What are you reading right now? (for pleasure)
KA: Endgame by the lovely Ann Aguirre

RR: How do you handle writer’s block?
KA: What’s that? I only write when the muse lets me (she’s kinda demanding sometimes), otherwise I work on edits, revisions, or return to reality. I can’t force myself to write, it never ends well.
*Rookie side note: A demanding muse sounds heavenly. Mine's a fat, lazy slug who only moves when he wants to*

RR: What’s been your biggest reality check since becoming a published author?
KA: How difficult it is to get published and how much work goes into a well crafted, plausible, plothole-less, invigorating story. That’s a tall cup to order! Plus, as the release date approaches, how much of my success hinges on the opinions of others. (gnawing my fingernails)

And just for fun, a few of my favorite James Lipton questions:

What is your favorite word? Schnitzel 
What is your least favorite word? Stupidest 
What sound or noise do you love? Raindrops on my back porch.
What sound or noise do you hate? Annoying songs.
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Astrophysics at NASA, genuine nerd.
What profession would you not like to do? Anything with math, I’m so bad at it.
(I agree. Math blows.)

Thanks for stopping by, Kaylie. I wish you all the best with your book!

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Just Because...

(To any new Fan Clubbers, please be aware that on occasion I just have to vent. You'll get used to it. And you're always invited to participate with me. that rot.)

Just because...

I can complete a full length novel, doesn't mean I'm the most obvious choice to write the elementary school newsletter. For starters, my novels are peppered with random swear words. Besides that...I really don't care about the school lunch menu or which teacher is going out on maternity leave. Yes, I AM that selfish. *Clears throat in preparation to deliver her mother of the year acceptance speech*

I have an agent, does not mean I have any pull to get you, your son, your granddaughter, neighbor or nanny into her literary door. Until my book gets turned into a movie...and people actually pay to see it, I don't have any clout people.

I want Wentworth Miller to kidnap me and make me his love slave, does not mean it's going to happen. Or that my mane of enormous curls will suddenly turn him straight.

The doctor says, "it's a sinus infection," does not mean that the drugs she gives me will actually make me feel better. *glares at the calendar...It's been 10 days*

I exchanged my Jeep for a minivan does NOT mean I am no longer cool ... er...Yeah, actually it does.  I'm crafting an appropriate license plate rim to explain this debacle as we speak. So far I've got, "My kid's wheelchair won't fit on my unicorn."

I'm bending over in front of you (to unload the dishwasher!) it is not an invitation to mount me Serengeti style.

Feel free to add your Just Because entries below...