Viva Kleenex band paper towels with festive prints (prints are optional, though highly recommended)
Tropicana Trop50 Blueberry Pomegranate Juice
Labrador Retrievers
Predictable chick-flicks, coming of age tales (usually including a dance-off or ridiculous, far-fetched duel) and anything including Bradley Cooper
I could have just said; paper towels, juice, dogs and movies, but instead I gave you specifics about the things I like because that makes getting to know me a lot more interesting, right?! (Your first instinct will be to say "no, that just proves you're a picky, pain in the ass," but for the sake of the blog--just agree). Exactly. And I'm no different than the characters you're writing (Minus the hair. Nobody is brave enough to write about hair like mine).
For example, is reading about a girl who is having a snack while watching TV interesting? UH, NO! Is reading about a girl who is stuffing her face with chips and peach mango salsa while watching a rerun of The Love Boat interesting? WHY YES, YES IT IS!
It's the tiny little details that make our characters relatable, detestable or down right desirable.
If your main character has a strange obsession with David Cassidy, let us know! Though many of us will think he/she has a tiny, old man fetish, there will be a handful of late thirty-somethings who can totally relate.
If the bum on the corner is holding a hand-written sign, tell us what it says! We need to know whose working for beer and who isn't.
If your token rich bitch had plastic surgery, we need to know the cup size, how much she paid, and exact measurements of the misaligned nips.
Details make your characters come to life. Your readers want them and your book needs them.
Take short-cuts when you need to, but never, ever skimp on the details!
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Friday, September 30, 2011
FOUR-LETTER WORDS: What are you packin'?
Relax, Nancy...no one's throwing F-bombs your way.
This post is dedicated to the four-letter words every writer should include in their handy WRITER'S SURVIVAL PACK on a daily basis. Let's take a look at what's inside:
HOPE: Hope tops the list because without it, we'd have nothing.
SUCK: If your manuscript doesn't suck at least once every ten days--you're doing something wrong. Everybody has doubts about their writing. If you can't admit it--you will be taken to the barn and stomped to death by cloven hooves. It's been documented. It will happen.
LOVE: Write because you love to write. Not because you want to sell a book.
FART: When did farting become a bad thing? If you don't let loose every now and then, the stifled gas will clog up your internal blood flow thereby causing a depletion of oxygen to the brain. Without that, your brain hamster cannot run and your writing will suffer. It's basic science, folks. Acknowledge it and move on. (And if they're particularly bad, like you ate 2 cups of broccoli the night before--run after you distribute or quickly apply scented lotion to your hands to mask the odor.)
HATE: Hate is a strong word kids, but it's essential to your survival. If you don't hate other writer's who sign a bigger contract than you, agents who don't respond to your query, or co-workers who think your story is "cute", than you're a liar and will also be taken out to the barn. Just be honest and hate...it's okay, we still love you.
FEAR: You bet you're packing this! This is a scary business, bro! It's okay to be fearful, just don't let it stop you from living your dream.
DAMN: Sometimes it just feels good to say it. Take this sentence for example, "Damn, that is some good writing." See...it just works. Don't ignore the damn.
BEER: Beer, or other alcoholic beverages, should be embraced by all writers. It makes the most boring scene funny, the most annoying characters likeable, and you ten pounds thinner. How can you lose? I recommend stocking up on this bad boy. You never know when it might come in handy.
PRAY: You cannot do this alone. Prayer is a powerful tool, my friends. Don't leave home without it!
DUMB: Some people are just dumb. This has nothing to do with your survival as a writer. It's just important to mention.
WAIT: Ah...to wait. Getting a book published is like rush hour at Disneyland. Yes, we know you want to get on Space Mountain like...yesterday, but you have to wait just like everybody else. The truth is, most of us have to wait. A LOT. Those stories you read, about authors who got picked up on their first query, went to auction after 3 days, and got a seven-figure deal with additional movie rights...yeah, those people might not have had to wait, but they're the ones the rest of us hate...it all works out in the end.
This my list of essential four-letter words. What are you packin'?
This post is dedicated to the four-letter words every writer should include in their handy WRITER'S SURVIVAL PACK on a daily basis. Let's take a look at what's inside:
HOPE: Hope tops the list because without it, we'd have nothing.
SUCK: If your manuscript doesn't suck at least once every ten days--you're doing something wrong. Everybody has doubts about their writing. If you can't admit it--you will be taken to the barn and stomped to death by cloven hooves. It's been documented. It will happen.
LOVE: Write because you love to write. Not because you want to sell a book.
FART: When did farting become a bad thing? If you don't let loose every now and then, the stifled gas will clog up your internal blood flow thereby causing a depletion of oxygen to the brain. Without that, your brain hamster cannot run and your writing will suffer. It's basic science, folks. Acknowledge it and move on. (And if they're particularly bad, like you ate 2 cups of broccoli the night before--run after you distribute or quickly apply scented lotion to your hands to mask the odor.)
HATE: Hate is a strong word kids, but it's essential to your survival. If you don't hate other writer's who sign a bigger contract than you, agents who don't respond to your query, or co-workers who think your story is "cute", than you're a liar and will also be taken out to the barn. Just be honest and hate...it's okay, we still love you.
FEAR: You bet you're packing this! This is a scary business, bro! It's okay to be fearful, just don't let it stop you from living your dream.
DAMN: Sometimes it just feels good to say it. Take this sentence for example, "Damn, that is some good writing." See...it just works. Don't ignore the damn.
BEER: Beer, or other alcoholic beverages, should be embraced by all writers. It makes the most boring scene funny, the most annoying characters likeable, and you ten pounds thinner. How can you lose? I recommend stocking up on this bad boy. You never know when it might come in handy.
PRAY: You cannot do this alone. Prayer is a powerful tool, my friends. Don't leave home without it!
DUMB: Some people are just dumb. This has nothing to do with your survival as a writer. It's just important to mention.
WAIT: Ah...to wait. Getting a book published is like rush hour at Disneyland. Yes, we know you want to get on Space Mountain like...yesterday, but you have to wait just like everybody else. The truth is, most of us have to wait. A LOT. Those stories you read, about authors who got picked up on their first query, went to auction after 3 days, and got a seven-figure deal with additional movie rights...yeah, those people might not have had to wait, but they're the ones the rest of us hate...it all works out in the end.
This my list of essential four-letter words. What are you packin'?
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
GIVE ME YOUR BEST CAPTION...
Okay, okay, (Rookie raises hands in defense) I know this is a bit of a cop out, but I'm tired and oh so busy trudging away on my WIP that this is the best I can do. Give me your best catch phrase, sentence, or short story for the photo below. All who participate will receive a special gift from yours truly.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
GUILT: It's a verdict, not a feeling.
I'd like to introduce you to my dog, Cooper. Sadly, my handsome yellow boy died suddenly on Halloween 2009 forever taking a piece of my heart with him.
While there are many things I miss about Coop on a daily basis: The way his eyebrows shifted when he listened to me talk to him. How silky his ears felt beneath my fingers. His eternal hopefulness that one day I'd actually give him a scrap from the table *sigh*, there is one thing I definitely do not miss...the suffocating guilt he freely handed-out while sitting at my side and staring at me until I played ball with him. (He could go for hours folks. It was torturous.)
Aside from the handsome guy above the only other person on the planet whose guilt distribution has any affect on me is my husband. (His guilt trips are slightly different than that of the dog's and reserved for an entirely different kind of post. *wink*)
OH WAIT!
I nearly forgot. There actually is one more person who can make me crumble at the knees with unrelenting guilt. She's blue-eyed, types 90 wpm and has hair the size of a small village. Her name is Bethany and she is a gold medal winner at self-inflicted guilt.
Until I got serious about my writing, I had no idea how hard I was on myself. The expectations I hold myself accountable to are not only unattainable, but completely ridiculous considering my life. (Full-time job, 2 kids, husband...you know the drill). I can go from having a great, 1,000 word writing day to feeling like a useless turd on the doorstep in the matter minutes. All because I let my own guilt trip me up.
I know I'm not alone in this self-defeating behavior. It seems most of my writerly friends share in this neurotic behavior. (Aren't we the lucky ones?!) But I did receive some advice a few years ago that I've been trying hard to incorporate into my life in hopes to ease the guilt.
Here it is: (Put on your waders--we're about to get deep).
After the birth of my first daughter, I went through a period of some very low-lows. It wasn't exactly postpartum depression, but what a therapist diagnosed as postpartum anxiety. Like a lot of creatives, I'm a control freak--having my world turned on it's head by this 8lb. person who did little more than cry, poop and literally suck the life out of me, definitely did not fall into my list of familiar and scheduled activities. (Fear not! The child in question is now nearly nine and I no longer want to run away from her (most of the time)) When I learned I was pregnant with baby girl #2, I quickly sought guidance from a therapist so I would understand how to deal with the feelings that still frightened me when I thought about bringing another new person into my world.
Therapy taught me that not only am I a control freak, but I'm also an emotional responder. (duh) Rather than deal with things rationally...I blow them out of proportion. I know...shocking! But, and here's where it gets interesting and back to the point, the best thing I learned was that there are really only 4 true feelings when it comes to our emotions. They are:
SAD
MAD
GLAD
AFRAID
Lorie, my therapist, suggested that anytime I start having feelings of guilt, which was my biggie, that I stop and break it down to an actual feeling. Because guilt wasn't a feeling. It was a verdict.
Here's what I mean:
I'm a horrible mother = GUILT
The Breakdown:
I am afraid that I'm going to do this wrong.
I am mad because my life has changed in ways I never expected.
I am sad because I don't feel like the same person anymore. I miss her.
This little formula was a lifesaver. I didn't suffer any of the same symptoms with #2 as I did with #1. AND, the best part, I've been able to translate this little process over to my writing life. For example:
I didn't write all weekend = GUILT
The Breakdown:
I am mad that I had to go to Costco to buy husband Cliff bars instead of spending an hour writing.
I am afraid that if I don't commit every free moment to writing God won't think I'm serious about it and I will never "make it."
I am sad that I know my friends made time to write this weekend and I didn't.
You can break it down for days--and believe me, I have. But the bottom line is--GUILT IS NOT A FEELING. It's a culmination of other feelings that you just haven't stripped down to the roots yet. Most of my guilt actually comes from fear. I'm not sure that's a good thing, but at least I've diagnosed the source.
Perhaps my therapist was a bit more "enlightened" than some folks (I'm pretty sure she went to Berkeley) but, either way, this little tool has helped me a lot. Maybe it can help you, too.
While there are many things I miss about Coop on a daily basis: The way his eyebrows shifted when he listened to me talk to him. How silky his ears felt beneath my fingers. His eternal hopefulness that one day I'd actually give him a scrap from the table *sigh*, there is one thing I definitely do not miss...the suffocating guilt he freely handed-out while sitting at my side and staring at me until I played ball with him. (He could go for hours folks. It was torturous.)
Aside from the handsome guy above the only other person on the planet whose guilt distribution has any affect on me is my husband. (His guilt trips are slightly different than that of the dog's and reserved for an entirely different kind of post. *wink*)
OH WAIT!
I nearly forgot. There actually is one more person who can make me crumble at the knees with unrelenting guilt. She's blue-eyed, types 90 wpm and has hair the size of a small village. Her name is Bethany and she is a gold medal winner at self-inflicted guilt.
Until I got serious about my writing, I had no idea how hard I was on myself. The expectations I hold myself accountable to are not only unattainable, but completely ridiculous considering my life. (Full-time job, 2 kids, husband...you know the drill). I can go from having a great, 1,000 word writing day to feeling like a useless turd on the doorstep in the matter minutes. All because I let my own guilt trip me up.
I know I'm not alone in this self-defeating behavior. It seems most of my writerly friends share in this neurotic behavior. (Aren't we the lucky ones?!) But I did receive some advice a few years ago that I've been trying hard to incorporate into my life in hopes to ease the guilt.
Here it is: (Put on your waders--we're about to get deep).
After the birth of my first daughter, I went through a period of some very low-lows. It wasn't exactly postpartum depression, but what a therapist diagnosed as postpartum anxiety. Like a lot of creatives, I'm a control freak--having my world turned on it's head by this 8lb. person who did little more than cry, poop and literally suck the life out of me, definitely did not fall into my list of familiar and scheduled activities. (Fear not! The child in question is now nearly nine and I no longer want to run away from her (most of the time)) When I learned I was pregnant with baby girl #2, I quickly sought guidance from a therapist so I would understand how to deal with the feelings that still frightened me when I thought about bringing another new person into my world.
Therapy taught me that not only am I a control freak, but I'm also an emotional responder. (duh) Rather than deal with things rationally...I blow them out of proportion. I know...shocking! But, and here's where it gets interesting and back to the point, the best thing I learned was that there are really only 4 true feelings when it comes to our emotions. They are:
SAD
MAD
GLAD
AFRAID
Lorie, my therapist, suggested that anytime I start having feelings of guilt, which was my biggie, that I stop and break it down to an actual feeling. Because guilt wasn't a feeling. It was a verdict.
Here's what I mean:
I'm a horrible mother = GUILT
The Breakdown:
I am afraid that I'm going to do this wrong.
I am mad because my life has changed in ways I never expected.
I am sad because I don't feel like the same person anymore. I miss her.
This little formula was a lifesaver. I didn't suffer any of the same symptoms with #2 as I did with #1. AND, the best part, I've been able to translate this little process over to my writing life. For example:
I didn't write all weekend = GUILT
The Breakdown:
I am mad that I had to go to Costco to buy husband Cliff bars instead of spending an hour writing.
I am afraid that if I don't commit every free moment to writing God won't think I'm serious about it and I will never "make it."
I am sad that I know my friends made time to write this weekend and I didn't.
You can break it down for days--and believe me, I have. But the bottom line is--GUILT IS NOT A FEELING. It's a culmination of other feelings that you just haven't stripped down to the roots yet. Most of my guilt actually comes from fear. I'm not sure that's a good thing, but at least I've diagnosed the source.
Perhaps my therapist was a bit more "enlightened" than some folks (I'm pretty sure she went to Berkeley) but, either way, this little tool has helped me a lot. Maybe it can help you, too.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Look Mom, I'm on Oprah!
Okay, you caught me. I'm actually nowhere near Chicago, but I am on the hot seat! Twice!!
My new friend, Jessica LeSaicherre, has invited me to her blog for a little chat about the struggles of doing it all. (Read: How do you bathe, feed and love your children, keep a little spice in your marriage, and pick up dog poop all while becoming a writer?) Besides the fact that Jess has an awesome blog, and is as cute as a button, she's also a member of Team Peeta. (Bonus points in my book). So swing by, say hello, and check out my interview beginning this Thursday.
And in other exciting interview news...
The fantastical Anita Howard has invited me to participate in her QUERY TRACKERS MAKING TRACKS series over on her blog this Friday. Most of you know that QT played a huge part in me finding my agent, Rachael Dugas (the darling little dynamo who will be swinging by Rookie's blog very soon). It was a treat & an honor to sing QT's praises to Anita. I'd love to see you over there, too.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
BETTER THAN SLICED BREAD
Last week I was granted an AWESOMESAUCE award by the amazing, and soon to be best selling author, Anita Howard. I'll be honest and admit that my first thought upon notification was, bloody hell! There's a reason why people don't ask me to participate in dish towel chain letters, or pass me a loaf of soon-to-be Amish friendship bread. The reason is because I don't follow the rules. I never have. Rules infuriate me! (And the thought of eating a slice of bread that originated from 10 days of neglect on my counter is about as appetizing as anal warts. Just about.)
But because I love me some Anita, and because I happen to have some serious blog envy going on, I decided I would follow the rules, this ONE time, and play along.
So, it is with great pleasure I present the the AWESOMESAUCE award to the fabulous and witty Ms. Jessie Humphries. Besides the fact that the girl has titled her blog page with the best letter in the alphabet, "B", she's just damn funny and puts together some entertaining, well-written blog posts on a regular basis that all begin with the letter "B". (She first reeled me in with her "B is for BRINGIN IT" post on August 12. This post was inspired by the darling Mr. Ryan Gosling, which provided me a perfect opportunity to comment about my favorite blue-eyed honey, Mr. Bradley Cooper. I am to Bradley Cooper as Barack is to the word 'change'. I will incorporate it as often as possible.) So, congratulation's, Jessie. You are so worthy of the awesomesauce, I hope you bathe in it for days.
And now to the rules. *sigh* *groan*
1. I'm supposed to thank the person who bestowed me with this fabulous award.
THANK YOU, ANITA!!
2. Pay it forward to no more than one person a month.
NOT A PROBLEM. THE AWESOMENESS STOPS WITH JESSIE.
3. What is your favorite song currently playing on your iPod?
THE GLEE KIDS RENDITION OF, DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'
4. If we peek into your Internet history, what would we find?
LAST GOOGLE SEARCH: IS BRADLEY COOPER SINGLE?
5. And lastly, what is your all-time favorite movie that you watch over and over again?
DO YOU EVEN NEED TO ASK?
Sixteen Candles - Final Scene - Movie Ending. Watch more top selected videos about: Sixteen Candles, Michael Schoeffling
The second that music starts playing, my heart actually stops beating. It does not get any better than Jake Ryan in topsiders and when he says, "Yeah, you." Ahhh...I'm in Heaven.
That's all I have for today, my bloggerly buddies, but something exciting is in the works...
STAY TUNED!
Saturday, August 20, 2011
LOCKED IN THE WRITER'S CLOSET
Shh...Please don't tell anyone I'm in here.
This is my secret hideout and if too many people find out about it, I'm afraid they'll force me out. It's not that I don't like it out there, in the real world. The people are nice and the food is pretty tasty, but it's so much different in here.
In here I can really be myself.
I can talk to the voices in my head and nobody thinks I'm crazy. They think I'm inspired.
In here I'm encouraged to color outside the lines. In fact there aren't any lines in here. It's just me, a big empty page and a brand new box of crayons. (I love new crayons).
In here my big ambitions are met with excitement, not speculation.
In here a rejection doesn't mean failure, it means I'm one step closer to success.
In here all the nonsense in my head has a purpose. And it's a purpose I'm discovering more every time I step inside.
I know the day is coming when I'm going to have to 'out' myself to the rest of the world, but until then I'm going to stay out of sight, answering only to those who know the secret password.
This is my secret hideout and if too many people find out about it, I'm afraid they'll force me out. It's not that I don't like it out there, in the real world. The people are nice and the food is pretty tasty, but it's so much different in here.
In here I can really be myself.
I can talk to the voices in my head and nobody thinks I'm crazy. They think I'm inspired.
In here I'm encouraged to color outside the lines. In fact there aren't any lines in here. It's just me, a big empty page and a brand new box of crayons. (I love new crayons).
In here my big ambitions are met with excitement, not speculation.
In here a rejection doesn't mean failure, it means I'm one step closer to success.
In here all the nonsense in my head has a purpose. And it's a purpose I'm discovering more every time I step inside.
I know the day is coming when I'm going to have to 'out' myself to the rest of the world, but until then I'm going to stay out of sight, answering only to those who know the secret password.
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