Sunday, January 6, 2013

Just Because...

WARNING! WARNING! 
RANT AHEAD!
(To any new Fan Clubbers, please be aware that on occasion I just have to vent. You'll get used to it. And you're always invited to participate with me. Misery...company...all that rot.)


Just because...

I can complete a full length novel, doesn't mean I'm the most obvious choice to write the elementary school newsletter. For starters, my novels are peppered with random swear words. Besides that...I really don't care about the school lunch menu or which teacher is going out on maternity leave. Yes, I AM that selfish. *Clears throat in preparation to deliver her mother of the year acceptance speech*

I have an agent, does not mean I have any pull to get you, your son, your granddaughter, neighbor or nanny into her literary door. Until my book gets turned into a movie...and people actually pay to see it, I don't have any clout people.

I want Wentworth Miller to kidnap me and make me his love slave, does not mean it's going to happen. Or that my mane of enormous curls will suddenly turn him straight.

The doctor says, "it's a sinus infection," does not mean that the drugs she gives me will actually make me feel better. *glares at the calendar...It's been 10 days*

I exchanged my Jeep for a minivan does NOT mean I am no longer cool ... er...Yeah, actually it does.  I'm crafting an appropriate license plate rim to explain this debacle as we speak. So far I've got, "My kid's wheelchair won't fit on my unicorn."

I'm bending over in front of you (to unload the dishwasher!) it is not an invitation to mount me Serengeti style.

Feel free to add your Just Because entries below...