Fear not, Fan Club! This is not the witty Christmas post I've long been crafting together in my substantially follicled head. This is just a quick blurb by which I will share a few things I have learned in the hopes of sparing you the same painful learning curve I've had to endure. (Tis the season, and all).
#1. If you have a child who likes to bang on keyboards, NEVER, EVER leave your WIP open on your computer. A great love scene with (fill in the blank: Bradley Cooper, Zac Efron, Mark Wahlberg, Matt Lauer, (it could happen)) can quickly turn into a blank screen and a houseful of expletives directed at your child who will in turn repeat them to their teacher.
#2. Write down your Blogger password. On the occasion your computer doesn't "remember" for you--it makes logging in for a blog post a whole lot easier.
#3. Don't get annoyed with the stupidity of Hollywood. Case in point: The novelty license plates they use in movies. Unless you just arrived to this country, you know that license plates (novelty included) are only allotted SEVEN characters. So when you see an awesome movie like THE LINCOLN LAWYER, starring the very delishhhhous Matthew McConaughey, and his license plate reads, NOTGULTY, don't freak out. You'll only drive yourself, and your husband crazy.
#4. If your husband says things around the house like, "I gotta see a man about a horse," when referring to a bowel movement, don't be surprised when your nine-year-old daughter suddenly pushes herself away from the dinner table, and announces with the dramatic prowess of an academy award winner, "I'VE GOTTA TAKE A DUMP!" I found that it's a whole lot easier to just laugh, and retell the story on your blog, than to remind her that not only is that gross but she never waited to be excused from the table to go take that dump.
Until next time, my friends...